Every Monday morning I'll be sitting at the bar
It doesn't matter if I'm drunk 'cause I'm not going far
It doesn't matter SHIT to me because I've done my maths
'Cause if you're unemployable, it's cheap in at the baths!
I like to watch the MILFs and strays who go there for a swim
I like sitting at the sides and looking at their quims
And laughing at the lifeguards, I think they all look gay
You can call me a reprobate, I DON'T CARE what YOU say!
I LIKE CRAPPING IN SWIMMING POOLS
I LIKE PEOPLE TO SEE MY STOOLS
I LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE CRINGE!
I LIKE TO HEAR PEOPLE WHINGE!
Bombing at the shallow end to make a mighty splash
Sitiing in the cubicles smoking lots of hash
Putting tiny trunks on to show the birds my pubes
And ogling the single Mother with the biggest boobs
I LIKE CRAPPING IN SWIMMING POOLS
I LIKE PEOPLE TO SEE MY STOOLS
I LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE CRINGE!
I LIKE TO HEAR PEOPLE WHINGE!
I never go to the sauna
I don't wanna see all that fauna
I don't like the slipper baths
Because I never get a laugh
Pulling up a greenie and gobbing in the shower
Using so much shampoo I look like the Eiffel Tower
Practising my backstroke when I see the handicapped
And littering the changing room with all my personal crap
I LIKE CRAPPING IN SWIMMING POOLS
I LIKE PEOPLE TO SEE MY STOOLS
I LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE CRINGE!
I LIKE TO HEAR PEOPLE WHINGE!
copyright Phil Atherton 2008